Once upon a time I was a handsome, headstrong woman. Maybe I still am, but I can't help but to feel that I'm more than a little bit curmudgeon now that I am on the darker side of my thirties. For sure, I had a lot more patience and tolerance five years ago.
Eight months into my retirement from professional domination and I still go to MaxFisch almost everyday. A 10 year habit of posting at least once a day doesn't go away over night. MF promotion was a NYC domme's bread and butter. I was, so, just damn good at it. Then I had the double edged sword realization that MF had no barring in my *actual* life anymore. Sure I hoped someone would buy a video here and there, help a girl out, but really, nothing mattered. I could say anything I wanted. Holy crap. I didn't have to play nice anymore.
Eight months into my retirement from professional domination and I still go to MaxFisch almost everyday. A 10 year habit of posting at least once a day doesn't go away over night. MF promotion was a NYC domme's bread and butter. I was, so, just damn good at it. Then I had the double edged sword realization that MF had no barring in my *actual* life anymore. Sure I hoped someone would buy a video here and there, help a girl out, but really, nothing mattered. I could say anything I wanted. Holy crap. I didn't have to play nice anymore.
I've been out of the scene for a bit, working on vanilla writings and other such things that were woefully neglected so I could focus on BDSM things, shooting videos, setting up sessions, traveling, appearing at conferences, consulting, teaching, organizing photos, building websites ect. When I stop and think about it, this job, which was supposed to be a great way to pay tuition 15 years ago, consumed my life. It went from "part-time" to 60, 70, 80 hours a week of my time.