Once upon a time I was a handsome, headstrong woman. Maybe I still am, but I can't help but to feel that I'm more than a little bit curmudgeon now that I am on the darker side of my thirties. For sure, I had a lot more patience and tolerance five years ago.
Eight months into my retirement from professional domination and I still go to MaxFisch almost everyday. A 10 year habit of posting at least once a day doesn't go away over night. MF promotion was a NYC domme's bread and butter. I was, so, just damn good at it. Then I had the double edged sword realization that MF had no barring in my *actual* life anymore. Sure I hoped someone would buy a video here and there, help a girl out, but really, nothing mattered. I could say anything I wanted. Holy crap. I didn't have to play nice anymore.
I could go out in a blaze of glory, just go off the looney side and post all kinds of honest opinions. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. Conversely, there is so much stupid crap on there I want to reach through the computer and give posters a substantial slap. Instead I am a bit of a negative poster to people these days. "Oh how the scene has changed for the worse!!" No it hasn't. You're just high strung because you're not making the money/getting what you want out of a session like you once did and what you once had was not the defining item of the scene. Get it? On the best of days I imagine myself as a wizened matriarch talking to children and saying things like, "Because I said so." More likely I'm a geriatric domme in Hans' Old Home for Wayward Fetish Divas poking people with my cane.
Headstrong? Set in my ways? Get off my lawn!
Eight months into my retirement from professional domination and I still go to MaxFisch almost everyday. A 10 year habit of posting at least once a day doesn't go away over night. MF promotion was a NYC domme's bread and butter. I was, so, just damn good at it. Then I had the double edged sword realization that MF had no barring in my *actual* life anymore. Sure I hoped someone would buy a video here and there, help a girl out, but really, nothing mattered. I could say anything I wanted. Holy crap. I didn't have to play nice anymore.
I could go out in a blaze of glory, just go off the looney side and post all kinds of honest opinions. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. Conversely, there is so much stupid crap on there I want to reach through the computer and give posters a substantial slap. Instead I am a bit of a negative poster to people these days. "Oh how the scene has changed for the worse!!" No it hasn't. You're just high strung because you're not making the money/getting what you want out of a session like you once did and what you once had was not the defining item of the scene. Get it? On the best of days I imagine myself as a wizened matriarch talking to children and saying things like, "Because I said so." More likely I'm a geriatric domme in Hans' Old Home for Wayward Fetish Divas poking people with my cane.
Headstrong? Set in my ways? Get off my lawn!
You are one of the classiest, smartest, most thoroughly enjoyable women that ever graced the scene. My bad I never got to session with you. But I still make a beeline for any post of yours just to see what you have to say. And you're still a drop dead, gorgeous woman. And will be, at any age.
ReplyDeleteWow. Great post. I know firsthand how hard it is to break the MF habit. I have quit and started back five times at least. Going to that site is as addictive as smoking cigarettes. I quit those five times too. But at least I was able to finally put them down. Not so MF. I recently went back after a year of not posting.
ReplyDeleteI love your posts these days. They are honest witty candid and true. More than I can say for 99.999% of the other Dommes who post there. Of course they have to use the site as a marketing tool. I totally understand and don't fault them for that. You, on the other hand, no longer have to worry about using Max as a marketing tool and you have a ton of experience and insight into the pro scene which makes your posts sooo much more interesting to read! ;-) Your recent MF posts are reason enough for me to continue hanging around that God forsaken place! :-P (Damn where are my emoticons when I need them?)
Oh and you are still drop dead gorgeus! No retirement home for you Ms. M! I am really looking forward to reading more of your blog. Great stuff! :-)